Talking to Ruth

            Ruth was supposed to get back this week from her trip to Europe, but her daughter broke her leg, so rather than coming back home she’s going to stay with her daughter to help her out.

            I have missed Ruth the past few weeks, but I’m relieved that she isn’t coming back right now. I think she might have blown the agreement between Fred and I to pretend nothing happened between us. She called me yesterday from her daughter’s house to catch up with what had happened, since time differences and schedules kept us from talking much while she was in Europe.

            You all have been so wonderful about reading my blog and responding to my problems, but at that moment, I was tired of keeping it all inside of me. I started to tell Ruth about the fact Fred had come back into town, but she interrupted me and immediately began to rant against him. How dare he show up again? Didn’t he know he almost ruined my life, if she hadn’t come in and straightened everything again? He was so selfish back then, trying to get to my money, and now he still showed that selfishness in coming back to gloat about his own wealth. What a social-climbing, manipulative, lazy jerk.

            Ruth then began to lecture me about how I should avoid him at all costs, no matter what. I managed to tell her we’d decided to pretend as if we had never dated, to make things less awkward with our social circle, so would she please not say anything to anyone else about it? Ruth huffed but agreed, and I trust she’ll keep that.

            We hung up and I was no more satisfied than before we talked. That’s always been the thing about Ruth, she believes she knows what’s best for me, and so rather than hearing my problem out, she hears a fraction and then lectures me on what I should do. I love Ruth and know she has my best interests at heart, but how can she know what I need before I tell her how something is making me feel?

            It’s times like this I miss my mom a lot. She always listened to me all the way through, then asked me what I thought I should do. When I would tell her what I thought, she’d either give me that proud smile, or she’d ask questions that prompted me to discover the better answer. Or, when it was something that hurt and couldn’t be fixed, she’d just hug me and hum a song, and I felt safe and loved. And that’s all I really needed. Still all I need now, but here I am with no one to really listen.