More on Moving

            So people have had some varied reactions to my decision to move up with Eliza and my dad. Hannah is a bit disappointed, but she agrees that it’ll be best for Lucy. Marie, strangely, couldn’t be more thrilled. She keeps on saying how wonderful it’ll be for me to spend time with Eliza and go to a new city. It’s not only strange because she’s actually talking about what’s good for me, but also that she hasn’t made this about her. After my nephew was born, I went on a long weekend with Ruth to a spa and she just about lost it since I wouldn’t be able to babysit for her while she got her hair cut. And considering I’m leaving just around the time the new baby should be born, I thought she would make this more about her. That I wasn’t going to be there to take care of her and watch Little Charlie and the new baby and cook food and do everything for her. This is a time when anyone would need additional help, so the fact that Marie is taking it so calmly doesn’t make sense to me at all.

            And on the reverse, when I first told Ruth about my plans to leave, she just about chained me to her coffee table to keep me here. She said that after all those months she was away, she had hoped for things to go back to normal, but now I was leaving her and we’d be separated again. I started off with the excuse about Lucy, but she said they could figure out a different arrangement that wouldn’t make me leave town. 

I also told her I wanted this for myself, to get out of a rut and meet new people. At that, Ruth offered up her matchmaking services that I’ve been denying for years now. She also noted all of the society I’d turned my back on after I had my coming out to please my dad. Ruth said that “society” would welcome back someone from such a prominent family as my own. I could find my place there. “Just as you were supposed to, before everything else happened” as Ruth said.

            I hate bringing up Fred around Ruth. No matter what I say, she always thinks he’s Don Juan, coming back to mock me for falling for his cruel and selfish seductions. So yes, I could have told her that part of my motivation, but I also know that she would have taken too much joy in it all. Then she’d be pushing me out the door, with a list of eligible bachelors in that area.

            In the end, I didn’t tell her about Fred’s place in all of this. But after several conversations, and my refusal to change my mind, Ruth has changed her plans. She has a sister in the same area of town where Eliza and my dad are living, and so she’s coming with me. Just for two or three months, or so she says. She probably won’t leave me until I’m with one of the rich men she approves of, now that I’ve admitted to her I’m open to dating again. Since her own daughter is married and my mom’s gone, she feels responsible for me in that way. 

Hopefully I can find my own way in this city, separate from what Ruth and my dad want from me, even if they’re there. I really don’t want this to turn against me, but it feels like the only place I have to go right now.