Facebook Friends

Is it just me, or does technology make things so much more complicated with relationships? Like, there are certain things you’re not sure is okay with the relationship you have with someone, and there’s so much more access to you with people you’d prefer to keep at a distance. Sometimes I wish all we had were letters again, and rules about who could and couldn’t write to each other. Though I suppose that’s too restricting.

            Anyway, this is coming up because on Monday night I went through my daily scroll through Facebook, and saw that Fred sent me a friend request. I had to get up and make some coffee and do some dishes before responding. The whole time I just had to wonder what he meant by it. He practically ignores me the past three months, only acknowledging me when he has to, and now, when he’s in love with Lucy, has decided to friend me. I’d thought I knew him well, but something must have changed with him, because I didn’t know why he did this. 

            I was also stressing out because I didn’t know if I even wanted to accept his request. Yes, I’ve accepted how things have worked out, I’m ready to start seriously dating again, but that doesn’t mean I want his face popping up in my feed even more. Not when I’m still fighting to make the changes I need so I don’t fall back into who I was. 

            But my niceness won out in the end. I friended him, but then I also blocked him so I won’t see his posts. At least the people over at Facebook realized that their social network can cause extreme discomfort and gave us tools to get around it.

            Before I blocked him, I did see something in his feed. It was a picture with him, Harvey, and Ben up in Aspen. I didn’t know before, but apparently he’s been up there for a few days now, visiting Lucy and probably declaring his undying love for her and his commitment to stay by her side until she’s well again. It’s really great that Fred fell in love with Lucy, actually. Because he’s a very loyal person and she needs support right now, with all of the recovery and therapy she’s going through. He won’t leave her because of this. And I’m sure she’ll want to get better so she can be with him.

            With these sort of things in perspective, I’ve been thinking a bit more about why he might have decided to friend me. And I think it’s because of his love for Lucy and misunderstanding me. After all, I broke things off with him, and other than that one slip-up when I was playing the piano, haven’t given any indication that I had feelings for him still. He thinks I’m not affected by him anymore, and with a relationship with Lucy just around the corner, he wants to be on good terms with everyone important in her life, including me. That’s why he did it. I’m fairly sure that’s why. It’s really the only good reason I could come up with.